I hate going to the doctor. This hate is not fear related because I honestly don’t believe they can tell me anything I don’t already know, or at least haven’t pondered. It’s the poking, the prodding, the closeness, and of course, the judgement, that bothers the hell out of me. It’s the all-knowing eyes, psuedo-empathetic head nods, and deep sighs that piss me off.
When I go to the doctor’s office, I am usually aloof and reserved. I may even be cold. And it’s very intentional. I’m not a sharer in general (I know, I know. I’m a blogger.), but I’m definitely not into sharing the most intimate details of my body–what it’s doing, how it’s doing it, etc. It’s overwhelming and it’s too much.
When we I made the decision to travel to California, Los Angeles specifically, for Hubz’ 31st birthday, it was kind of done on a whim. He nor I had ever been to The Golden State, or the City of Angeles, and while we were both excited to be experiencing some where new together, I wasn’t sure if L.A. should be the place. It’s fast, it’s loud, it’s bright and sunny. Honestly, it’s everything I’m not and I was concerned if this would actually be vacation for me or a few days in which I’m just trying to make it through to get back home. Also, couple that with the fact that our romantic getaway, had quickly morphed into a family trip, my hesitancy about traveling to Los Angeles steadily increased.
Now, I will admit that prior to our trip, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Los Angeles, or California in general. I felt it was overcrowded, too expensive, and hot as hell. Those beaches though. Those beaches were the first things to win me over when I was deciding if our trip to Cali should happen.
As I researched more and more (because I am a card carrying INTJ), I came to find so many things we could get into during our 3 days visiting the city. Since I knew my husband would appreciate the Hollywood aspect of the city more so than I, one of the first things we did was visit Hollywood Boulevard (to get it over with). I, however, ever the pessimist, was pleasantly surprised by the famous boulevard and what it had to offer.
A few years ago, I started keeping a list of things I wanted to accomplish during the year. It was more than a to do list, but less than an actual “goals” list. I guess, I saw it as being more of an experience list. Eventually, it morphed into what I now consider a “just because” list. There is no rhyme or reason as to why I want to do these things; I just do. Most of them will not improve my life in any direct way that I can currently see. And that’s okay. This is literally a list of things I want to do, well, just because I want to.
Recently, I’ve been looking for ways to refresh my space, my apartment, for cheap. While I love it overall, I sometimes feel like there’s something missing. On some days, it literally feels like four walls and a floor. That’s it. Initially, I thought about adding more pictures or swapping out the pictures we already have on the wall for new ones, but eventually I decided against that.
New furniture, maybe?
I mean, I am in the market for a new bookcase because I have books everywhere right now. But since I’m not sure where to put it, I can’t really determine the type of bookcase I want. So, nah. Not a bookcase. Not right now. Ugh, what to do, what to do?
I’m not new to the planner community. I am, however, new-ish to writing about it. I think I might have written one post previously about how I use my planner as a working mom. At the time, I was using a Sugar Paper Planner that I thought was all fancy and stuff. Turns out, it really didn’t meet my needs long-term and I ended up ditching it halfway through the year. Since then, I’ve used a Passion Planner, Arc, At-a-Glance, and most recently, a Day Designer, among others.
See, I’m an OG when it comes to planners.
So, why on earth did it take me eleventy hundred years to start using a binder system? Specifically, why did it take me so long to start using an A5? Here, take my planner card; I am not worthy.
Guess what! I’m here with my April goals post. Y’all, I haven’t done a goals post in a long time. Like a really, really long time. Honestly, it’s because of a lot of reasons. Mostly, I got tired of sharing goals that I wouldn’t or couldn’t accomplish. My processes were too cumbersome and I didn’t care enough to complete most things. Depression and anxiety can be debilitating, and with each month that went by with unfinished or in some cases, untouched goals, it was another blow to my self-esteem.