thoughts-quote

Contrary to what folks may hear or believe about me, I am a true negative thinker.  Where some folks can look at a situation and only see the good or possibilities, I look and see everything that’s wrong.  Show me “perfection” and I will show you flaws.  Here are a few things that I tell myself daily, that undermine my quest for joy.

  • “I can’t keep doing this every day.”  This being waking up early, watching my daughter cry because she has to go to school, commuting to a job I dislike, dealing with people I dislike, feeling like my life is over at 25, thinking that I will never find my purpose, etc, etc.
  • “I’ll never get organized enough to make my mornings seamless.”
  • “None of this matters anyway.”
  • “I hate my life.”
  • “I’m not cut out for this.”
  • “I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied.”
  • “One day, it’ll get better.”  Because “one day” never comes.  I don’t allow it to.

Based on the quote above, I’m already well on my way to becoming actionable with these intentions.  It’s only a matter of time before I fulfill my this destiny.  It’s time to find my happy.

30 Things

20 Random Facts

  1. I am very, very indecisive.  I fear making the wrong decision and usually end up making no decision at all, which is a decision within itself.  I know, I know…
  2. I can fight…if I have to and if it’s for a damn good reason.
  3. A horror movie to me is what the Disney Channel is to you.  I’m a junkie.
  4. When I have to pee really, really bad, my left hand aches.  This never fails.
  5. Like you, I was in and out of the hospital a lot as a child.  So much so, that the staff and your NaNa and Granddaddy named my IV “George.”
  6. I had a pet turtle named “Tuna Fish Mama.”
  7. I cannot stand the feeling of having excess sock folded under my feet.  Fold them over the top or wear socks that fit. End.of.Story.
  8. I say (and write) “Woot! Woot!” a lot.  Not three woots.  Not one.  It must be two.  Got it?  Yes? Woot! Woot!
  9. I was born on Halloween and I believe that colors the way I see the world.
  10. In my opinion, the 90s was the best decade ever. Ever.
  11. Your mama can sang, girl!  But you’ll come to know this as you get older.
  12. I was raised in “the hood,” but am not about that life.  My upbringing did teach me a thing or two, tho.  See #2.
  13. I play out scenarios (that are likely to never happen) in my head.  They are never, ever grandiose.  I mean, it’s real simple stuff like giving an ex a ride home or something.  Yeah, I’m kinda weird like that…
  14. Parenting is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
  15. I bore easily, so I’m always looking for something new and exciting.  Read: I changed my major about 6 times in college and wanted to be everything from a nurse to an investment banker to a teacher.
  16. I think I have a math learning disability.  I seriously missed one day of math in the 4th grade and never caught up.  Yes, I’m sticking to that.
  17. I can have a really sick sense of humor sometimes and often laugh at other folks’ misfortunes (i.e. falling, tripping, messing up words, etc.).
  18. I fall, trip and mess up words a lot.
  19. I often times burst out in laughter when yelling at you and will likely continue to do so for the rest of your life.  That does not make me any less serious, so do what I’m telling you.
  20. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.  There is no doubt in my mind about this.

30 Things

Since I’m always down for a little introspection and reflection, I decided to jump on the “30 Things My Kid(s) Should Know About Me” bandwagon.  Yeah, go ahead and click because homegirls’ site is off the chain. #ThatIsAll

Wait, no it’s not.

Allow me to give you a few reasons, other than my inability to ignore pretty graphics, as to why I’ve decided to join this challenge.

  1. There are some things that I will never get around to telling my daughter because I won’t think about them unless she asks.
  2. I want her to know me as a person and not just as “mommy.”  Even at 25, I find that learning about my mom as person…an actual human being with thoughts, feelings, passions, dreams…is fascinating.  I mean, who knew my mom was a real person?? News to me…
  3. I express much more in written form, than I ever have or will verbally.  She will learn about this a little more when she gets older and begins to find little love notes in her sock drawer.
  4. I think it’s cool and will give me something to write about that is outside of my comfort zone.  Read: Jordyn, you MUST get out of your comfort zone to really live.  Remember, there is no growth inside your comfort zone.  Also remember to always wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident and they have to remove your clothes.

So, I’m ready to get started and looking 29 weeks ahead, I should be finishing up sometime around November.  Woot! Woot!  Let’s do this.

psychology_textbooks2

I’ve been out of school for 4 months and 10 days…and I’m going stir crazy.  I miss learning.  I miss engaging.  I miss being motivated.  I miss school.

I.Miss.School.

Somebody better shut the front door…

I can’t believe it.  I begged, pleaded and prayed to get out of college.  I was just so over it.  Just over the work, over the people, over the ridiculous busy work and over being tired, worn out and pulled in too many different directions.  Now, here I am, not even five months later, bored to tears and ready to head back into the classroom.  It’s like I’m going through withdrawals or something.  Like Pookie from New Jack City. “It just be callin’ me, man.” School, that is.  I mean, I just want to learn.  I want to be around like-minded folks who value knowledge and education…because I miss it.  I really do. 

Learning is growth

I guess it’s no surprise that even though I said I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to grad school or not, I’m taking the necessary steps to get the ball rolling.  Ugh, I see a PhD in my future. #CantStopWontStop