Like many mothers, my life is very hectic.  Between school, work and other obligations, sometimes I can’t tell if I’m coming or going.  So many days, I have to decide what my priorities are because as you know, it’s impossible for everything to happen in the same day.  Does school trump work?  If so, who pays the bills?  If not, can I afford the ‘F’?  So many decisions to be made, so little time.  The obligations go on and on.  Throw a child in the mix and the whole things go kabloom!  They have to be your number one priority, right?  Well if so, why is it that they are the easiest “obligations” to put off.   It is the  “I know I should, but I just don’t have time” thing.  This is where my daughter falls.  If I have a paper due or have to be at work at a certain time, but she wants to play UNO or Candyland, you can probably guess what falls by the wayside.  This is something that I’m not proud of and quite honestly, embarrassed by.

She has to be my number one, though.  I have to devote just as much time to her as I do to the “necessities.”  I’ve compiled a list of things I want to happen in 2012…just for her and me.

  1. Teach her numbers and primary colors in Spanish
  2. Teach her to spell her name
  3. Teach her to write her name
  4. Teach her to count to 20…30…100
  5. Teach her to identify more complex shapes
  6. Visit the zoo (we missed it last year because I had to work…go figure)
  7. Swimming lessons…for both of us!
  8. Get a puppy!
  9. Work on her self-esteem (no negative self talk, etc)
  10. Dance class (She has been begging me for a year for these classes.  I should be ashamed.)
  11. Sign her up for soccer
  12. Family vacation that includes a pool
I know that this doesn’t seem like much, but I have to start somewhere.  She deserves the life I didn’t have and I thought that by being financially stable (to a certain extent) I was doing just that.  However, I missed the mark because I missed being there.

I consider myself a very goal-oriented person.  I usually keep a running list of all the things I want to accomplish in a given time period.  Some goals are long term, while others will be accomplished in a shorter span of time.  Nevertheless, the overall goal is accomplishment.  I want to be able to stamp “COMPLETED” on my endeavor and move on to what’s next on the list.  But what happens when that goal of accomplishment becomes elusive?  What happens when you just can’t reach the finish line?  Well, if you’re anything like me, you simply move on, determined not to allow the next goal’s fate to mirror the previous.  With catchy slogans like “Keep calm and move on,” you would think that there is nothing wrong with this line of thinking.  A continuous cycle of this behavior, however, reveals itself to be detrimental to progress and in many cases, can  lead to regression.  Sadly, here is where I currently stand.  So in an attempt to avoid my habitual conduct in matters involving commitment, I will utilize this blog and others as the accountability partner that I lack in real life and document my progression in the areas most important to me: motherhood, personal and professionalism development and balance.  I hope you stick around for the ride.