Family Planning is Personal i.e. Stay Out of My Uterus!


Lately, Hubz and I have been discussing the possibility of having another child.  Family planning is something that we didn’t get around to discussing before the first kid, as she was an…uh, surprise.  So this time, we’re actually trying to think it through.  I’m just a few years away from 30 and we’ve both decided that if we make the decision to have another baby, it’ll be before I hit the big 3-0.  Throw in the fact that Jam is already about to be 7 and we see our window of opportunity slowly starting to shut.

The thing is, though, we’re not sure if we really, really, REALLY want to have another kid.  Yeah, they’re cute and cuddly and smell real nice, but they are also a lot of work.  They cost a lot of money.  And I do not have a lot of patience left after almost 7 years of motherhood and almost 28 years of life.  Then, to make matters worse, everybody and their mama (including my mama) has an opinion on what I should or shouldn’t do with my God-given uterus.

As Jam has gotten older, it seems that the chatter has gotten louder.  I’m constantly questioned on if I plan to have anymore children and if so, when?  Don’t we realize that Jam is getting older and she’s probably missing out on some grand adventures in life since she’s the only child?  Plus, I couldn’t possibly really want my children to be *gasp* 8,9, 10 years apart, can I?  That’s damn crazy!

On the other end of the spectrum, there are the naysayers.  Why would I want another child?  Don’t we realize how much kids cost? We do.  Don’t we realize the juggling act that goes along with spreading your time, attention, and love between two tiny human, who each want it all for themselves?  We don’t, but I’m sure we can learn.  I mean, hell, other parents have learned or are ya’ll secretly giving more love to one child and fronting in public?  I’m just asking.

All of this unsolicited advice is just overwhelming.  Overwhelming and unwanted.  Because no matter how I much I try to pride myself on making my own decisions and being my own person, stuff like this bothers me.  Is it really cool to tell someone who’s thinking about having a second child that there’s no way that they’ll strike gold twice?  That they can’t make a child as great (?) as their first child, even if they tried?  I know that none of these things are meant in a spiteful way, but many times we don’t know how the other person is going to receive the information.  So, to be on the safe side, just stay out of other folks’ uteruses.



  1. March 11, 2015 / 8:04 am

    I so feel this post. I have two boys, and people are constantly telling me I need to try for a girl. Because it’s just that simple, right?

    • Vaneese
      March 13, 2015 / 7:15 pm

      I know. The comments are crazy. I mean, who’s to say that you’re not happy with it being just your two baby boys? And who’s to say that the next baby won’t also be a boy? Sheesh! LOL

  2. March 13, 2015 / 8:33 pm

    This sounds like every week to me. -___-
    And not to mention, I’m single… like I’d want to be a single parent 3xs over. :Sigh:

    • Vaneese
      March 16, 2015 / 11:00 pm

      Ugh, I couldn’t imagine. When will people learn?

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