What’s in a name?
Identity. Point, blank and period. Your name is your avatar for the world. People who know me don’t say, “That girl” or “That woman,” they say, “Vaneese” or “Ms. Vaneese” if ya nasty. Just kidding…although it would be cool if someone called me that, but I digress.
My overall point, however, is that names are important. And because of that, I’ve always felt that even when I got married, I would not change my last name. I would not change the name my daddy gave me. I mean, it’s who I’ve been for the last 25 years. Why fix what ain’t broken, right?
Well, sorta. When I had my daughter, I didn’t think twice about giving her her dad’s last name. Although we weren’t married and had no plans to get married, I felt that it was only right for her to have his last name. He is her father. While it did dawn on me that she could have my last name, I never seriously took that into consideration. It was never really an option. So why had I always made a big deal out of taking my husband’s last name, when I’d put little to no thought into my daughter taking her father’s last name?
Hmm…I believe it had something to do with the way I perceived the situations.
I saw her name, her identity, as a new beginning. She could be anything she wanted to be with her name. She would be able to create the person behind the name. But my *new* name? It would undoubtedly signal an ending. The death of the person I knew. The death of me.
Now, I’m sure I put waaayyy too much thought into this changing of the name thing. From what I’ve witnessed, it seems that many women are ready and willing to take on their husband’s name. It just is for them and that’s okay. For me, though, it’s taken a lot of thought, soul searching and honesty to get to the point where I would actually consider changing my last name. Hopefully, I’ve found my happy place with the hyphen. 🙂
Married ladies, did you have any qualms about changing your last name? Did you choose to change it? Why or why not? Unmarried ladies, what are your thoughts on the whole name change thing?