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Right now I’m in the thick of something funky. I mean, it stinks to the high heavens up in here and there’s nothing I can do about it–but go through it, feel it, and learn from it.
I’ve been in this place for a few months now. If you haven’t noticed, things have slowed down a bit on the blog. In real life, my family and friends ask questions like, “Are you sure you’re okay? You know you can talk to me, right?” I do, but I won’t. Their concern is appreciated, but in a way, it’s misplaced. I’m okay. I am. I’m okay.
I have to make the best of where I am
Am I feeling the best that I’ve ever felt in my life? Absolutely not. Are there some days that I just wish for this all to be over? Absolutely, there are. Do I believe deep down that I have to go through this to come out better than I went in? There’s not a doubt in my mind. Before I really sat down and thought about how I was going to address this and how to best describe what I’m going through, I toyed around with the idea of a “how to get out of a mental funk” type post. But how can I advise someone on something I’ve haven’t done myself? That seems pretty imperious and inauthentic. “Here, do what I can’t do and even though it didn’t work for me, maybe it’ll work for you.” Nah. That’s not how I roll. What I can do though–genuinely and without hesitation–is share how I’m making the best of my mental funk.
Mental funks…give me a chance to examine my thoughts. Before, when I would get into this mental space, I would focus solely on how to get out of it. I just need to figure out how to be happy. If I could just figure that out, all of this would be over and I’d be better. Sadly, that’s not the case. Lately, I’ve started examining what brings me to this space. Were there decisions that I made that I shouldn’t have made? I am putting the wants and needs of someone else above my own? It can be difficult to put a name to what’s making you hurt, what’s causing you the pain. But from experience, I’ve found that it’s necessary. There’s no other way to get through a mental funk and I mean to really get through it and not just gloss it over until you’re feeling a little better, than to really dig into it. Mental funks are there to be examine and they provide the perfect storm for some deep introspection. Honestly, for as much as they take out of me, they give me so much more.
Mental funks…give me a chance to examine my actions. I try really hard to be a nice person and to treat people with respect and dignity. At the same time, I’m human and I make mistakes. Sometimes I function from a place of misery, jealousy, and despair and therefore, sometimes my actions are not pure. Sometimes I’m looking for applause and I’m just not being genuine. That’s something that I can admit because it’s a part of my truth. It never fails though.When this happens, I can almost guarantee that a mental funk will follow, which is my cue to examine those actions and ask why.
Mental funks…give me a chance to examine my daily practices. Sometimes I get into these routines and while they might be good for time management and getting more done, they can be detrimental to other areas of my life. Yes, it may get me out of the door 10 minutes earlier than I had been getting out, but is it at the expense of my morning reading, journaling, or reflecting? Those are things that I’m not willing to give up, even if it does save me time. And there are other things as well. How much negativity am I consuming through television, music, social media, and even books? The things I do daily are what sustain me and if I’m not doing well in that area, I’m not sustaining well. I’m barely surviving.
I believe mental funks definitely have their place and are necessary for growth. So, I’ll see you on the other side.