The Road to Acceptance: A Natural Hair Story + Giveaway

It has taken me a long time to accept the hair that naturally grows out of my scalp.  It’s not silky or straight, fine or curly, but kinky and coily.  It’s not mainstream hair by any means and to be honest, I had to teach myself to love it.  Similar to the skin I’m in, society doesn’t tell me it’s beautiful.  Hell, half of the time, those closest to me won’t tell me it’s beautiful.  My mass of cottony coils are beautiful, though.  Just as my daughter’s.  Just as her (future) daughter’s.  Just as yours.  Unlike most women who transitioned to natural, I never had a bad relationship with my natural hair.  I really didn’t have any feelings toward it, simply because I didn’t know it.  I hadn’t been exposed to it.  As a girl who started getting relaxers at 5, I never knew my hair in its natural state.  So I did what I knew and I knew relaxers.

It wasn’t until I was a senior in high school, did I realize that some people rocked what naturally grew out of their scalps.  Say what?! As a frequenter of Black Hair Media, when I found the ‘Natural Hair Section’ there was no turning back.  I saw the beauty and flexibility of natural hair.  I saw what could be on my head, if I only allowed it to be.  I was sold.  Those closest to me were not.  “You don’t know what your hair will look like without a relaxer.”  “Your hair is nappy and is not going to be like those women on the screen.”   “Your texture is not their texture.”  I decided that natural was not for me and relegated myself to relaxers, abandoning my natural hair dreams.  The dreams, however, refused to be banished and I found myself in the company of excellent sources of inspiration on BHM, Nappturality and YouTube.  I quietly made the decision to transition then BC (big chop).  After transitioning for 8 months, I’d had enough.  Dealing with two (three) textures were working my nerves.  I picked up the scissors and *snip*.  “Oh shit, what did I do?”  Those were the first words to escape my lips.  I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, looking for encouragement.  What I found, however, was, “Oh shit, what did you do?”  To make a long story short, thank God for boyfriends who are skilled with scissors.  Toon hooked me up that night and I haven’t looked back since.


PicMonkey Collagehair

Now, none of this is to say that I adore my hair all the time and that I am always in love with it.  Umm, no ma’am.  This hair and I have gone through some things and while I don’t see myself returning to relaxers anytime soon, there is definitely a love hate thing (cue Wale) happening from time to time.  I don’t baby it as much as I should, I don’t style it hardly ever and I sleep without a satin scarf more often than not.  That being said, my natural hair is definitely a part of my identity and my natural hair story is undoubtedly a piece of my story.


So in the true style of the celebratory fashion in which I like to live, I’m giving away some products.  Throws confetti and twirls:::

Here is what I’m giving away!


(1) Dream Kids Olive Miracle Soothing Moisturizing Braid Spray

(2) Dream Kids Olive Miracle Anti-Breakage Detangling Oil Moisturizer

(3) Dream Kids Olive Miracle Detangling Moisturizing Shampoo

(4) Dream Kids Olive Oil Miracle Detangling Conditioner

Grown Folks

(1) Olive Miracle 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner

To Enter:

Leave a comment telling me about your hair story–natural or not–and tweet me on Twitter, telling me that you’ve done so. Use the Rafflecopter below to make it super easy (there are a couple other options for entries as well).  And that’s it!  The giveaway will run until October 19th, with the winner being announced on Monday, October 21st and will have 24 hours to respond.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I was not paid to do this post; no compensation has been given. Products have been shipped to me for review and giveaway purposes.  


  1. Sarah
    October 10, 2013 / 1:09 am

    Once I was in college and on my own dime I stopped all treatments for my hair besides a simple hair cut. I may be blonde but I am a natural blonde!

    • Vaneese
      October 11, 2013 / 7:10 pm

      Sarah, I was the complete opposite. When I went to college and subsequently got on my own, that’s when I started to SPEND, SPEND, SPEND on every product under the sun! I’m proud to say that I’m a recovering “PJ” or product junkie. Lol.

  2. October 11, 2013 / 12:37 am

    Unlike you, when I went natural I didn’t like it. However, everyone else was oooo and ahhhhh, I finally fell in love with it and me and there is no turning back! That was 2008 and we’re still rolling strong.

    • Vaneese
      October 11, 2013 / 7:12 pm

      5 years strong!! Go ahead on…that’s awesome. I think that I felt I needed to be okay with it because I don’t think those around me were. In my mind, if they saw me questioning my decision, they would have viewed that as an opportunity to jump in and “tell me how they really felt.” Ain’t nobody have time for that!

  3. October 11, 2013 / 7:49 pm

    I thought my hair only looked good when it was flat ironed straight. That was when I would get compliments. But I don’t have time to and decided to embrace my curls … Now I have issues with my scalp being super dry and most days I expect to see blood. I’m working on that though. For the past few months I’ve been doing an oil recipe i found on Pinterest and my scalp is improving but I admit I don’t do it as often as I should.

    • Vaneese
      October 11, 2013 / 8:06 pm

      Good for you on embracing those curls! While I agree that straight hair has its place, I LOVE big, bouncy coily hair! It just can’t be beat. Also, like you, I have scalp issues. The derm diagnosed “alopecia,” but I’m pretty sure that she just said that because she didn’t know what else to say. Ugh…I would love to know about that oil treatment you were speaking of. Be on the lookout for an email from me!

  4. October 12, 2013 / 10:24 pm

    Thanks for sharing your natural journey with us! I have “gone natural” twice and I can reasonably promise that I will never get a relaxer again. I don’t love my hair everyday, but nowadays I love it many more days than I used to! Some days I just like to play in the texture and marvel that the coils and curls have actually grown out f my own head 🙂

    • Vaneese
      October 14, 2013 / 12:08 am

      What! Yes, the coils–I love them with all my heart and then some. I remember transitioning and seeing my FIRST visible coil…I was too excited. I even took pictures to text all my friends! LOL.

      Thanks for commenting.

  5. October 13, 2013 / 3:11 am

    HaHa I did exactly like you. I took the scissors to my hair & came out & the hubby was the one that said “Oh shit” LOL Once I realized how to handle my natural hair I have been loving it every since.

    Thanks for this post…more natural girls, at least those thinking about going natural, need to read your story!


    • Vaneese
      October 14, 2013 / 12:06 am

      Pamela, it’s definitely a process in learning how to care for your natural hair. Even 4 years later, I’m still learning what to do and when to do it and so forth. And it’s always changing.

      Also, I’m glad that I wasn’t the only one with an “Oh shit” moment!

  6. October 13, 2013 / 3:24 pm

    I had a particularly straight relaxer in 2003, and it was then that I decided I despised limp hair! I grew my relaxer out, and have been natural every since!

    • Vaneese
      October 14, 2013 / 12:03 am

      Wow…that’s like 10 years! That is so awesome. I plan to make it that far and beyond. 4 years and counting…

  7. October 13, 2013 / 6:35 pm

    I’m still transitioning and probably will be until all of my permed ends are gone, which won’t be much longer. I’ve been natural for over 4 years and I get equally the same amount of compliments when my hair is straight and when my hair is curly/wavy. Like you, I have that love/hate relationship as well but I’ll never consider ever perming my hair again. My hair has reached lengths it never has when it was relaxed. My hair is healthy and I love that!

    • Vaneese
      October 14, 2013 / 12:11 am

      Wow! Your hair is so long and gorgeous and looks FULLY natural. I had no idea you were transitioning?! And you’ve been doing it for 4 years? That takes some patience. I would be going stone crazy by now!! Anywho, yay for healthy hair!!!

  8. October 24, 2013 / 2:52 am

    Natural is easy to maintain and saves a lot of trip to the salon. A good haircut and proper maintenance can really do wonders to the natural hair.

  9. October 25, 2013 / 2:07 pm

    I finally fell in love with it and me and there is no turning back! That was 2008 and we’re still rolling strong.

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